Imagine this scenario. I’m happily practicing Downward-Facing Dog. My teacher starts giving adjustments a couple of people away (you know the one where they lean in and press your hips back and up?). I get excited as the person on the mat next to mine gets a long adjustment because I think I’m next. YAAAY! It’s my turn! And then I hear, “OK, come into Plank, Chaturanga, and Up Dog with your own breath.” My teacher tip-toes to the front of the room. No adjustment for me. Disappointment, sadness, jealousy, and regret wash over me. I am devastated!
In order to keep this from happening to more innocent yoga victims out there, I’ve devised a five-step plan to getting more adjustments in yoga class. Try it out and let me know how it goes.
5 Ways to Get More Hands-On Adjustments
1. Fidget. A lot! Especially in Savasana (Corpse Pose). Move your head from side to side if you want a gentle, loving neck massage. Wiggle your arms for a shoulder adjustment. And so on.
2. Mess up. Remember when you were a beginner and knew nothing about alignment? Round your lower back in Down Dog. Let your knee slide past your ankle a little. Be sloppy! Teachers LOVE to fix sloppy poses. If you look like you know what you’re doing they’ll pass you right on by!
3. Ask for Guidance. Are you a teacher? Are you considering teacher training? Come to class early and ask your teacher if he/she would mind teaching you how to do that AMAZING adjustment you like so much. I’m sure she’d be happy to show you!
4. Try WAY too hard. Practice your straining, struggling face at home in front of a mirror. It should look hard and scrunched up (maybe a little constipated). For best results, try making this face during a seated forward bend as you tug mercilessly at your foot, determined to get your forehead to your knee. Then watch how quickly your teacher comes by to try to get you to relax.
5. Be exhausted. Let your teacher know before class that you’ve had a really hard day and might have to take things a little easier today. Then, when everyone else is flowing through a vinyasa take Child’s Pose and don’t move. I bet your teacher will come by and give you a little extra traction..
Better yet, maybe you should just pay for a massage…
This is funny – That seems to always happen to me and I don't want to annoy the teacher by constantly asking "Am I doing this right?" I love adjustments though, they really help me understand and feel how the pose is suppose to be done.
Erica, you're hysterical…love you!
Congratulations on the NYT mention. Didn't know you had a blog. Glad to see that someone is keeping up the yoga humor.
Am LOL! Before you know you will be seeing students fidgeting and cringing in class soon!
As an assistant in a well known yoga studio, I will say that #3 works every time. Also, a good assistant will know where they left off in the last down dog and pick up there if they can.
Speaking for myself, if I see that I just missed you and you're really excavating your practice, I'll find you there later. But maybe…. just maybe instead of getting some down dog love, you'll get an assist in plank that brings you into your legs (and out of your arms) giving you an effortless chatarunga as a result.
Loved this. I have to say, though, that as someone who still considers herself a beginner in many respects, I tend to do #2 without meaning to in the inversions, #4 as a habit I'm working against and #3 anytime I need it! 😛 massage does sound good though!!
I love when I get that "traction" adjustment in child's pose!
Hi there! This is concerning. I understand that everyone likes adjustments, but this encourages people to put themselves in compromising positions that can lead to injury. Regardless of the fact that yoga is about connecting with your own body, not your teachers, these recommendations are simply not safe.
Thank you for posting! However, I think you’re taking this post way too seriously! It’s not really meant to be taken as serious advice, but rather as a tongue-in-cheek post that pokes fun at how much we love to get attention from our teachers. I hope you can appreciate it for what it is—silly!
This is embarrassing to all actual yogis. Adjustments are a treat not an expectation even if this is meant to be taken lightly it’s offensive and misleading.
I’m sorry you feel that way! I really don’t see the problem in poking fun at those of us who really enjoy some hands-on attention from our teachers. I believe that life is too short to take everything so seriously. If you don’t agree, I hope you can still enjoy the other, more serious posts on my blog. 🙂