Spoiled people are all the same. They spend way too much time complaining about how horrible things in their lives are when—let’s face it—their lives seem unbelievably amazing to everyone else. That’s why we hate them. And, frankly, that’s one of the things that I hate most about myself. I’m a whiner.

Here are a few of some of my common whineys, which is what I will call my pointless complaints from now on, along with an explanation of why they are really REALLY stupid.

1. My Husband Hogs the Covers. I have two counter-points for this one, Self. First of all, you have a bed to sleep in and warm blankets. There are so many people that don’t. Second, you have a husband! He actually likes to do dishes and vacuum—and he’s pretty cute, too. If you’re cold, go get another blanket.

2. I Don’t Make Enough Money. Wah, wah, wah! Poor baby can’t afford a new $100 pair of yoga pants. You have so many pants, your dresser drawer is overflowing anyway.

3. My Upstairs Neighbors are SO Loud. You have a roof over your head—you’re SO lucky! Try earplugs.

4. I’ve Practiced Yoga for 5 Years and STILL Can’t Touch the Soles of My Feet to My Head. Really? This is one of the things that you spend your time worrying about? Nothing magical happens when you master a yoga pose, it’s just that much harder to focus your mind in the easier postures because they’re not as physically challenging for you anymore. You should be GRATEFUL that you can’t touch the soles of your feet your head.

5. It Gets Dark Before I Get Home in the Evenings. Nighttime isn’t so bad. It’s when you get to rest and relax so you can enjoy the next day.