Back-to-school can be a stressful time for parents AND kids—no matter how Zen you are normally. So today I’m sharing my best back-to-school tips for elementary school parents.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently about things have helped us get through the stress of a new school year.

There were so many things I was just NOT prepared for when my first little one went off to preschool and kindergarten.

So many things I wish I had known.

Today’s post is for the moms who are sending their babies off to school for the first time… and it’s also for veteran moms to look back, reflect, and maybe even have a laugh, too. 

We’re all making this up as we go. 

So keep reading for some golden nuggets of advice for elementary school parents during back-to-school time. I promise this is actually helpful, practical information—not the kind of thing that old ladies at Target stop to tell you when they see crayons and folders in your cart.

See also Back to School Yoga for Moms. 

5 Things I Wish I Had Known When My First-Born Started Kindergarten

Food prep is everything 

That’s right. Food is more important than ANYTHING. Food trumps buying school supplies and putting your child’s name on everything. It trumps back-to-school clothes and haircuts. It trumps playdates with friends who might be in the same class. 

No, I’m not talking about shaping your kid’s lunch into dinosaurs or whatever crafty moms do to make lunch pretty. 

I’m saying whatever you do… don’t let your child’s blood sugar drop the first two weeks of school. 

Get up a little earlier to fill their tummies with their favorite breakfast. Offer snacks the second your child gets in the car at pick-up.

Spend Sunday before school starts planning, portioning, and preparing everything you can in advance. When you think you have enough food, go to Costco and buy more snacks.

Got it? FOOD is everything the first days of school.

Don’t spend an arm and a leg on school clothes. But buy new when it counts. 

So, here’s the deal. Secondhand clothes are great for kids! And it’s so easy to find hand-me-downs from neighbors and thrift stores like Once Upon a Child it’s kind of silly to get new things. There are really only two exceptions to this rule in my house — shoes and jackets. 

Kids are so hard on shoes. So I buy new, quality back-to-school shoes at the beginning of every school year. (This year my oldest got all white adidas shoes she can wear for cheerleading and to school. My youngest opted for more colorful sneakers that go with most anything.) 

I also get new kids jackets or hoodies. Even though it’s still 90 degrees here in August, I want them to be cozy when the mornings start getting cool. And I also know if we get one they like, they’ll wear it all year long!  

(Bonus tip: Get name stickers and put them on every single clothing item that goes with your kids to school. But especially the more expensive things like shoes, jackets, coats, and hoodies.)

Prepare for “spirit days.” 

All of my friends know how much I hate dress-up days at school. 

HATE.

LOATHE.

DETEST. 

I know they’re fun for the kids and all… but I don’t enjoy driving around all over town looking for a Cat in the Hat costume. I don’t like waking up at 5am to sculpt my child’s hair like Cindy Lou Hoo. And I SUPER hate having to coordinate with another parent so that our kids can coordinate on Twin Day or feel like a reject. Sorrynotsorry. This is not fun.

And it’s even less fun when schools spring these dress-up days on you the week before. 

Don’t let it happen. 

Ask for the schedule now along with the random early release days and teacher work days. Put it on your calendar. Trust me on this. 

Don’t sacrifice yourself. It’s not worth it.

I’m sure you’ve seen the memes. “Behind every well dressed child is a mom who looks like she survive a zombie apocalypse.” (It’s a paraphrase, but you get the picture.)

Why do we do this? We worry so much about matching bows and front door pictures that we completely neglect our own health and well-being. I know I’ve done it many many times. I bet you have, too.

Sure, we can all have a good chuckle about it. But let’s be real about something. Our kids need us to be grounded and reassuring during a time of BIG transitions and often BIG feelings. So often we focus on getting that perfect photo to commemorate their big day that we don’t take the time to figure out how to help them a them a better experience.

Slow down. Breathe. Be present with your child. And reassure both of you that it’s all going to be OK.

Trust yourself. 

People like to make first-time mamas feel like they don’t know anything.

This is SO wrong.

No one knows your kid like you do. So trust yourself and your intuition. Don’t want your kid pulled off of you kicking and screaming? SAY SO. You know that your kid acts like a psycho the second red food coloring touches their lips? Insist on snacks that make sense for your kid. 

You’re in charge. (Sorry, teachers.) 

If you feel uncomfortable with anything at all in those first couple of weeks of school, advocate for your child. Let the school know you’re paying attention and you care. Even if it’s annoying. The school administration might have more experience. They might really want the best for your kid. But only YOU know