Photo by Ben and Kaz Askins

My mind needs a break. I’m going to get use nap time today to really get centered, focused, and find my calm. I really need more calm.

Here goes!…

Breathe in, breathe out.

Bubba-bubba-bubble, guppa-guppa-guppies—Bubble Guppies!

Was that the baby monitor? No, it can’t be, she just went to sleep. Please, oh please, oh please, for the love of all that is good and holy in the world, just go back to SLEEP!

That’s OK. This is a new reason to be. very. still. and quiet. If I don’t move at all, maybe she’ll stay asleep.

Wait. Did I put the sign on the door that warns the mail man if he so much as comes close to my front door, he’ll die. I better go do that. I’ll walk down the stairs mindfully, quietly, and make sure my death-threat sign is in clear view.

Finally, I’m ready. Breathe in, breathe out.

Did I remember to put the laundry in the dryer?

When I’m done meditating, I better eat all the Oreos that are left downstairs. If I don’t eat them my child will.. and that’s a lot of sugar and processed crap for her. I know it’s a lot for me, too, but it’s my maternal duty, a sacrifice I’m willing to make for the health and wellbeing of my child …

How much time is left on my timer?  How is it that I still have 7 minutes left on my timer? All that and it was only 3 minutes?

I’m pretty sure being a mom has completely ruined my attention span. I wonder how many brain cells die during childbirth. I’m going to look that up after I meditate. Well, maybe after the Oreos.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I better go check to see if I put the laundry in the dryer. Then, when I come back, I’ll be able to focus.

You know what? I could just mindfully move the laundry instead. Then, I can mindfully eat a snack. Maybe do some mindful Netflix binging? Yep. That’s totally the same thing as meditating.

Netflix…

Bubba-bubba-bubble, guppa-guppa-guppies—Bubble Guppies!

Screw it. I give up. I’ll try again tomorrow.